Bit of an intro

*Hello* I'm J and I'm mummy to a wonderful little boy (who I'll most likely refer to as bug, a pet name from when I was pregnant). Yesterday marked three years since I found out I was pregnant. Wow, three years and it feels like yesterday. My son was born in early March 2010. He's now just over 2, and a quarter, years old and I honestly couldn't imagine my life without him.

I just thought of the name mummy tantrums because I'm right in the middle of the so-called terrible twos (they started earlier than two!!). I also have some tantrums of my own ranging from single motherhood, traumatic birth and a long term battle with PostPartum Depression (PPD).

I had a relapse into depression at the beginning of this year. In hindsight it started in the middle of last year but that's the thing with hindsight isn't it? Here's a bit of a summary...

February 2012 - finally kept an appointment to see a GP. Decided depression had returned. Prescribed Fluoxetine (20mg daily). 

April 2012 - No difference so switched to mirtazapine (15mg daily). 

May 2012 - Seen my own GP (who I seen throughout my inital PPD). I felt the mirtazapine wasn't worth the side effects. Prescribed lofepramine again (210mg daily after one week of 140mg daily). 

[the GP I seen in between wanted to try newer AD's since lofepramine is an older one. My own GP was happy for me to take them since she felt I done well on them last time]

May 2012 was also when I started seeing a counsellor. I was a bit hesitant about the counselling but it's definitely made a difference. I'll write more about the counselling soon. 

I'm getting there. My son is absolutely wonderful and without a doubt he is the brightest star in my life. I'm so, so lucky to be his mummy. 

PPD is awful and it's one of those things that no-one talks about. It's been a struggle but I know I'm doing everything that I can to be the mummy that my son deserves.