GP appointment [4]

I had another appointment with my gp this morning. Just really to see how I'm getting on with the ad's. I said to her that I'm feeling much better and don't really get upset anymore. We talked a bit about my approaching return to work and she just reassured me it's normal how I'm feeling - going between the sicky feeling and then not feeling too bad. I've not to feel like I'm taking steps backwards if I get upset/teary for a few days while I adjust to another life changing event. I've been off work for almost 14 months. Almost the past year has been spent with bug and it's going to be a huge change having to leave him for four hours, four times a week. Regarding the ad's, she wants me to keep taking them for another three months. She said normally with ppd (or any depression) ad's are normally prescribed for six months. Tomorrow's been three months since I first spoke about how I felt and started them. I asked what happens when it's time to stop, can I come right off them or is it gradual? She said a lot of people feel anxious about stopping them right away so would prefer to gradually come off them. She said this wasn't necessary so if I felt comfortable stopping completely then I could. She did say I didn't have to decide to today and can talk about it when I go back to see her again. I don't have to go back to see her until the end of April/start of May. Even though I'm comfortable taking them now (and not feeling guilty about it) I'll also be glad when the day comes that I don't have to take them anymore.

my wee guy has the cold

The title says it all. My baby has the cold :( In all honesty I feel we've done well getting to 11.5 months before catching anything! I think it started last night because he just wasn't himself and was up so much more than usual through the night (although that it hard to measure!) Today he's all blocked up and his little nose keeps running. I've given him some calpol because he was feeling rather warm and he's now tucked up in bed. Poor guy. Today he wasn't really interested in eating but he was wanting to nurse more than usual - really reassuring that he's getting something.

I hope my little guy gets over it soon. It's so hard seeing him not well.

Even though he wasn't really himself he's still made me smile. There are so many toys but he would still rather play with things that aren't really toys. He has a basin to play with but today he's started turning it upside down so he can stand on it to reach things that he wouldn't normally reach. Even though I had to keep moving him or moving things out the way it was still a proud mummy moment that he thought to use the basin!

My doctors appointment tomorrow is at 9:30am so it's going to be out early. It's not really as early as it sounds since we're normally up before 7am. There was one day during the week I got to stay in bed until 7:45am and even though I was up a few times during the night it was still amazing!

It's already half 8 so I'm going to go and laze on the sofa with some hot chocolate before calling it a night!

< 2 weeks

In just two weeks my little man will be one year old. It feels so unreal at times. This time last year I was a week away from my due date. I can't believe how quickly our first year together has gone by. It's been the most wonderful year and our time together just keeps getting better. It's been beyond amazing watching my bump grow for 9 months, my body being able to carry and birth a healthy, perfect little baby and then to watch this little newborn baby grow into a wonderful little boy. I'll never be able to express how much I love my beautiful boy but sometimes I feel as though I could burst with the love I have for him. I've never known anything like it. It's very true that nothing compares to the bond between a mother and her child. I'm so, so lucky to share that bond with someone so amazing ♥

I wrote the above yesterday but someone needed cuddles before I had a chance to finish the entry. Then it was too late and there was no chance I was coming back online. Even though I read all my friends updates daily, I'm still feeling a distance from here. I'm still not sure what it is.

As well as being less than two weeks until my little man turns one year old, it's also three weeks today until I return to work *cries* three weeks is no time at all. Sometimes I think I feel almost numb about it rather than that sicky feeling. I'm trying to put it to the back of my mind but it's getting louder as my return date gets closer. There's really nothing I can do about it so I know I need to get on with it.

My sister was up today with my lovely nephew. He hadn't been well for the past week but today, although he wasn't completely back to his usual self, he was looking much brighter. I'm so glad. I know how much my sister was worrying about him. Poor little guy. Her bump is growing so I've given her three maternity tops (the green one, the grey hooded one and the black one that says coming soon on it). I just don't want to part with the other ones. How sad is that?! Chances are I won't need them again but I can't bring myself to let go. One of them is the black one I wore a lot. It was so comfy and I just loved it. The other one is a creamy colour, but it was the first one I bought so it means something. I still have my two pairs of maternity jeans as well. I did give her one pair of maternity jeans that I didn't wear so much. Strange attachments to clothing. That's new!