more on birth trauma

I didn't realise how much my traumatic birth experience still affects me. I can feel angry at ignorant comments as my previous post and I can acknowledge that. I didn't realise just how much I would feel to see someones labour and post birth status updates. I'm not sure how I felt to be honest. I feel nauseated and I want to cry and cry. I knew that it still bothers me and I feel that's it something that will always bother me, I just didn't realise how much I still hold onto. The majority of the time I do feel ok although I do tend to keep a distance from any talk of labour, birth, those first few moments. I do feel that a traumatic birth experience was a huge factor in my postpartum depression.

I'm scared that as my son's birthday is less than two months away I'll fall into the mind set of three years ago. Three years ago I was a day shy of 34 weeks pregnant and still had dreams of what my son's birth would be. I can't change my birth experience and that's fine. I'm still very emotional thinking about it and I'm sure that's fine too. I'm in a much better place than I was even just a year ago.