Meltdown

So this evening bug broke his bed. Actually broke the bed. As in the beam that runs along the length is broken. Earlier he was having a meltdown over Lego (I'm not entirely sure what happened) and started screaming. As usual, I tried to calm him and told him to stop screaming. When he didn't I put him in his bed until he calmed down. Once he calmed down I went to get him and we came back downstairs. He was wanting outside but I said no because he was in his pyjamas. Then we went into the living room. I asked bug to pick up his bricks and he started screaming no. He did calm down ad eventually picked them up when he realised he wasn't getting anymore toys out. Fast forward to bedtime... I thought all was well once I tucked him in but I heard banging (jumping) so I ran upstairs but too late. Broken. I have propped up the base with a box so he can still sleep in it. I was so angry and feel awful now for shouting at him. I'm just feeling frazzled. 

He is happily fast asleep now. 

I really could do without the expense of having to buy him a new bed. Thankfully it will just be a frame I need to buy. I had a quick look online and seems much cheaper compared to buying a frame and mattress! My car has it's MOT on Wednesday and road tax due at the end of the month. Typical all comes at once. 

I really don't understand the "naughty" behaviour. Honestly, I don't. It's not like I don't pay him loads of attention and plan things for us to do. Today we done loads of painting. Even making hand and foot prints at bugs request. This involved him painting on his foot himself which he loved. The entire kitchen floor was a mess but he was laughing so much. Then he had a long bath, which he loves, then we played with the Lego (before initial meltdown). With the Lego, he always asks me to build towers. 

I'm just at a loss. 

I love him so, so much. I'm just frustrated, I just want him to be happy. On evenings like these it's hard to stop myself from wondering if my having postpartum depression has had any influence. Has his traumatic birth had an influence on him? I hope not. I hope it's just his age and he's just pushing boundaries. 

I was so upset once he was finally asleep. I think I've shaken it off now. 

Time for lots of tea and then lots of sleep.