I was feeling a bit overwhelmed to update yesterday. To be honest I'm not sure I'm feeling much better today.
My GP was lovely. There was a trainee GP in with her too. When we were walking from the waiting room she asked if it was ok, at first I felt a bit anxious but then said it was fine. I did say I was probably going to get upset which is why I felt a bit nervous about someone else being there.
Anyway.. my GP diagnosed PPD.
She prescribed antidepressants (Lofepramine) Initially I said it was a bit scary but after talking with her we decided I've given it time and I'm not feeling any better. If it's going to help then it's worth while. She assured me that Lofepramine is safe while I'm breastfeeding bug. My GP also suggested that I go to a group to speak to other mums but she's going to find out more about that and speak to me when I'm back to see her - in three weeks time. She did say it's been a hard 8.5 months and that I've done well.
Bug was with me (obviously) and was smiling the entire time. GP mentioned that he was looking rather massive since the last time she seen him. Then she was explaining to the trainee that in the first few months he wasn't gaining much weight and about how strong I was sticking with the breastfeeding.
She also took some blood to check my iron levels etc although she thinks they'll be fine since I was taking the iron supplements.
I felt weird last night before I took the first one. I think I felt more weird about feeding Bug. It's hard to explain but I almost felt like my milk would be tainted and that I had failed him.
I do feel like I've failed him anyway. That's what I'd said to both the HV a few weeks ago and the GP yesterday. I feel so, so guilty for feeling like this when I have this wonderful little boy.
My GP was lovely. There was a trainee GP in with her too. When we were walking from the waiting room she asked if it was ok, at first I felt a bit anxious but then said it was fine. I did say I was probably going to get upset which is why I felt a bit nervous about someone else being there.
Anyway.. my GP diagnosed PPD.
She prescribed antidepressants (Lofepramine) Initially I said it was a bit scary but after talking with her we decided I've given it time and I'm not feeling any better. If it's going to help then it's worth while. She assured me that Lofepramine is safe while I'm breastfeeding bug. My GP also suggested that I go to a group to speak to other mums but she's going to find out more about that and speak to me when I'm back to see her - in three weeks time. She did say it's been a hard 8.5 months and that I've done well.
Bug was with me (obviously) and was smiling the entire time. GP mentioned that he was looking rather massive since the last time she seen him. Then she was explaining to the trainee that in the first few months he wasn't gaining much weight and about how strong I was sticking with the breastfeeding.
She also took some blood to check my iron levels etc although she thinks they'll be fine since I was taking the iron supplements.
I felt weird last night before I took the first one. I think I felt more weird about feeding Bug. It's hard to explain but I almost felt like my milk would be tainted and that I had failed him.
I do feel like I've failed him anyway. That's what I'd said to both the HV a few weeks ago and the GP yesterday. I feel so, so guilty for feeling like this when I have this wonderful little boy.
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