Yesterday I went to register Bug. I was really upset in the register
office when the woman asked me about the father. That happens a lot.
Whenever anyone asks I just burst into tears. I really thought I had
accepted it but I guess it's a bit different now that Bug is here
and no longer a bump. Anyway, the woman was really nice about it and
just said we're better off without someone like that and this way I'll
have him all to myself. So everything is now official.
I mentioned in my last entry that we were back in hospital for a few days. I was initially discharged from hospital on Friday. That first night home was hard going. Bug just wouldn't settle I was in agony trying to feed him. My nipples were cracked and bleeding. I nearly gave up that night. I decided I'd be ok since the midwife was coming to see us on Saturday. It got to 5pm and no-one had come round so I phoned the midwife led unit (they would take over my care again even though I didn't deliver there in the end). The midwife I spoke to said they hadn't received my discharge papers from the other hospital. She asked how we were getting on and I explained I wasn't sure about the breastfeeding going well but I'll see how it goes if the midwife is coming out on the Sunday. The midwife on the phone sounded concerned that no-one had been out to see us but said to call back if I had any concerns or wanted to speak to someone. It was still really painful feeding him but I managed to get him to settle down around 9pm-ish when the midwife called me again to check how I was. I said I was ok and was feeling better knowing someone would come out on Sunday morning.
As soon as I got off the phone to the midwife Bug was unsettled and crying. I tried to feed him again, trying to ignore the pain, but he was just getting frustrated. I was getting really upset about it because I couldn't settle him. My nipples had started bleeding a lot more as well which worried me. I phoned the midwife back again to explain I was still having problems breast feeding him. They said I could go up to the midwife led unit for some help - which is what I did. That was the first time driving with Bug in the car so it was a bit scary driving there. Once I was there two midwives came took me into one of the post natal rooms and just wanted to see how my position etc. Bug wasn't latching on properly. They showed me how to properly position him. The midwives weren't impressed with the fact the other hospital discharged me before breast feeding was established. I had said in the other hospital that I didn't think it was right but they kept saying it's normal to think that. The frustrating thing about the other hospital is the delivery suite is fantastic - it's the post natal care that lets it down but I think that's due to being under staffed. Anyway I breast fed him for around 2 hours when they asked me to stay for a few hours so they could see how I got on at his next feed. One of the midwives took him out for a wander around the unit until he settled so I could have a few hours sleep. They were so lovely there. His next feed was just after 6am and he was managing to feed for an hour. After that I felt fine to go home with him.
It was arranged the midwife would come out to see me in the afternoon. This let me get Bug settled and have a few more hours sleep.
When the midwife, Tracy, came she was asking how I was. I was crying about the breastfeeding and just feeling overwhelmed. I felt awful that I hadn't been doing it right and he was hungry. Tracy just reassured me that it was an issue that should have been picked up before I was discharged. She wanted to check his weight and it turns out he had lost 12% of his birth weight. This meant I had to go back to the other hospital to see a pediatrician to make sure Bug was alright. I think I was crying the entire drive there. After taking some bloods it turns out he was a bit dehydrated so we were readmitted. On Sunday night the midwives said he was to get a formula top up. I didn't want him bottle fed in case it interfered with breast feeding so they fed him with a cup - which was strange to see. I had to wake him every three hours to breast feed him and then they were giving him a top up during the night. Bug had to have more blood taken at 4am to see if there was an improvement - there was. In the morning after speaking to another midwife we agreed I would breast feed him until he refused anymore and then express. Bug was fed the expressed breast milk with the cup.
They think there was a delay in my milk coming in because it was a difficult birth and I lost a lot of blood. That didn't make me feel any better about it.
Anyway, throughout Monday I could see the difference in how much milk I was managing to express. It started off with around 10ml but eventually going up to 40ml and that was on top of him breast feeding. He was weighed on Monday afternoon and had gained weight! On Monday night I was advised to take domperidone to help stimulate my milk supply. That night Bug was back to being on my breast milk without any top ups. On Tuesday afternoon he was weighed again and was still gaining weight. The pediatrician came to the post natal ward to check him and was happy with his weight gain which meant we got to come home.
I was so glad to go home. I hated being stuck in the hospital - although my mum came to visit us on the Monday and Tuesday.
Tuesday night was a bit scary. It was my first night home previously that things fell apart. Everything was fine. He was feeding well and sleeping for decent periods.
On Wednesday the midwife came out to see us again and to check he was still gaining weight - he was!
The midwife is coming out again today to see us and to weigh Bug again. I'm hoping he's still doing well. He's started wanting to be fed for 15 minutes then taking a 10 minute break before wanting to be fed again. Yesterday afternoon he kept falling asleep so I eventually gave him a bath to wake him up - he likes the water being poured over his hair. Once I had bathed and changed him he was awake enough to feed for over an hour. I'll mention that today.
I never thought breastfeeding would be so difficult.
I mentioned in my last entry that we were back in hospital for a few days. I was initially discharged from hospital on Friday. That first night home was hard going. Bug just wouldn't settle I was in agony trying to feed him. My nipples were cracked and bleeding. I nearly gave up that night. I decided I'd be ok since the midwife was coming to see us on Saturday. It got to 5pm and no-one had come round so I phoned the midwife led unit (they would take over my care again even though I didn't deliver there in the end). The midwife I spoke to said they hadn't received my discharge papers from the other hospital. She asked how we were getting on and I explained I wasn't sure about the breastfeeding going well but I'll see how it goes if the midwife is coming out on the Sunday. The midwife on the phone sounded concerned that no-one had been out to see us but said to call back if I had any concerns or wanted to speak to someone. It was still really painful feeding him but I managed to get him to settle down around 9pm-ish when the midwife called me again to check how I was. I said I was ok and was feeling better knowing someone would come out on Sunday morning.
As soon as I got off the phone to the midwife Bug was unsettled and crying. I tried to feed him again, trying to ignore the pain, but he was just getting frustrated. I was getting really upset about it because I couldn't settle him. My nipples had started bleeding a lot more as well which worried me. I phoned the midwife back again to explain I was still having problems breast feeding him. They said I could go up to the midwife led unit for some help - which is what I did. That was the first time driving with Bug in the car so it was a bit scary driving there. Once I was there two midwives came took me into one of the post natal rooms and just wanted to see how my position etc. Bug wasn't latching on properly. They showed me how to properly position him. The midwives weren't impressed with the fact the other hospital discharged me before breast feeding was established. I had said in the other hospital that I didn't think it was right but they kept saying it's normal to think that. The frustrating thing about the other hospital is the delivery suite is fantastic - it's the post natal care that lets it down but I think that's due to being under staffed. Anyway I breast fed him for around 2 hours when they asked me to stay for a few hours so they could see how I got on at his next feed. One of the midwives took him out for a wander around the unit until he settled so I could have a few hours sleep. They were so lovely there. His next feed was just after 6am and he was managing to feed for an hour. After that I felt fine to go home with him.
It was arranged the midwife would come out to see me in the afternoon. This let me get Bug settled and have a few more hours sleep.
When the midwife, Tracy, came she was asking how I was. I was crying about the breastfeeding and just feeling overwhelmed. I felt awful that I hadn't been doing it right and he was hungry. Tracy just reassured me that it was an issue that should have been picked up before I was discharged. She wanted to check his weight and it turns out he had lost 12% of his birth weight. This meant I had to go back to the other hospital to see a pediatrician to make sure Bug was alright. I think I was crying the entire drive there. After taking some bloods it turns out he was a bit dehydrated so we were readmitted. On Sunday night the midwives said he was to get a formula top up. I didn't want him bottle fed in case it interfered with breast feeding so they fed him with a cup - which was strange to see. I had to wake him every three hours to breast feed him and then they were giving him a top up during the night. Bug had to have more blood taken at 4am to see if there was an improvement - there was. In the morning after speaking to another midwife we agreed I would breast feed him until he refused anymore and then express. Bug was fed the expressed breast milk with the cup.
They think there was a delay in my milk coming in because it was a difficult birth and I lost a lot of blood. That didn't make me feel any better about it.
Anyway, throughout Monday I could see the difference in how much milk I was managing to express. It started off with around 10ml but eventually going up to 40ml and that was on top of him breast feeding. He was weighed on Monday afternoon and had gained weight! On Monday night I was advised to take domperidone to help stimulate my milk supply. That night Bug was back to being on my breast milk without any top ups. On Tuesday afternoon he was weighed again and was still gaining weight. The pediatrician came to the post natal ward to check him and was happy with his weight gain which meant we got to come home.
I was so glad to go home. I hated being stuck in the hospital - although my mum came to visit us on the Monday and Tuesday.
Tuesday night was a bit scary. It was my first night home previously that things fell apart. Everything was fine. He was feeding well and sleeping for decent periods.
On Wednesday the midwife came out to see us again and to check he was still gaining weight - he was!
The midwife is coming out again today to see us and to weigh Bug again. I'm hoping he's still doing well. He's started wanting to be fed for 15 minutes then taking a 10 minute break before wanting to be fed again. Yesterday afternoon he kept falling asleep so I eventually gave him a bath to wake him up - he likes the water being poured over his hair. Once I had bathed and changed him he was awake enough to feed for over an hour. I'll mention that today.
I never thought breastfeeding would be so difficult.
So I wrote the above this morning.
Midwife, Irene, has now been out to see us. Bug is now at 4% weight loss from his birth weight so he's still gaining weight. I must be doing something right.
I mentioned to the midwife about his random 15 minute feeds and she thinks it might be more for comfort rather than him being hungry. Midwife did ask if I'd thought about using a dummy. I hadn't because I didn't want to do anything that might interfere with my milk supply or make breastfeeding more difficult. I know I could change my mind but for now I'm quite happy to see how we get on without.
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