Terrified

I had two remaining tests left so I took another one this morning to see if it was getting darker and it was. 

Here is the difference..

The two tests in the first picture were taken on Monday 15th June which is when I found out. The test in the second picture was taken this morning. Neither test was the first urine of the day (just incase you were wondering). 

I had felt different last week and all through last weekend. I was having weird feelings in my lower abdomen. I still have twinges. Nothing painful just something I'm aware of. I was sleeping a lot. My skin all broke out on Sunday night. My mum commented on the sleeping and said I might be coming down with something. I was in tescos on Monday morning before work when I had more weird feelings in my abdomen which were very different to usual period pains. My period wasn't due until Thursday 20th June so I was really only taking a test to rule it out and get it out of my system. I was sitting looking at it - you know watching the dye run across the screen. I thought I seen something but I wasn't sure. It wasn't until I waited a few minutes and checked it again I could see the second line. It was faint but it was definately there. 

My mum was the first person I told. I was shaking and I mean shaking. I could barely speak and I was in tears. I can't remember exactly what it was I said to her. She calmed me down and told me to phone the doctors to have it confirmed. So I phoned my doctor and was to give in a urine sample for them to confirm it. I handed the sample in on Tuesday morning after being told it had to be the first morning urine. 

I took the digital test on Tuesday 16th June. That one was scary and really hit me. There wasn't any faint lines to pour myself over. It was the word pregnant. The word pregnant came up first and then a minute later the 1-2 appeared on the display. 

I called the doctors reception on Wednesday to check for my results but they weren't in. I think I must have phoned them three times. I just wanted them to confirm it. Despite countless home tests I didn't want to think about it until I heard from the doctor. I called back on Thursday morning not long after 10am but again they weren't in. It wasn't until I caved in and phoned again at 1pm they confirmed the test came back positive. 

My first appointment with a midwife is 1st July. Let me tell you that feels forever away. 

I know it's still really early and I'm terrified something is going to go wrong. 

I'm scared to really let myself feel happy about it and get excited because I would be devastated if I lost this. 

Seriously - everytime I go to the bathroom I think I've got my period.